


the lights go down

by EpiKatt



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Amputation, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Dismemberment, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stabbing, Torture, no beta we die like men, not really tho lol, spoilers for some of the main story ig, uhh i cant think of anything else im so tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:47:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29730657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EpiKatt/pseuds/EpiKatt
Summary: When V gets kidnapped by the scavvers who took Sandra Dorsett, some rather... dire things occur.
Relationships: Kerry Eurodyne/V
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna be honest, this might be one of the angstiest things I've written, but V (mostly) gets put together again! Copious amounts of fluff for the angst, thought maybe not as much as we deserve.  
> Anyway I've been chipping away at this for a few weeks on and off, and I wanted to finish it before the month ended, so I wrote like 2k tonight and now I'm so mfn tired. I'm sleeping after this. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Title from IDKHOW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole thing is completed lol, so I'll be posting the next two chapters over the next two days. I'm too impatient and this fic isn't long enough to be worth weekly waits.

V was having a truly awful day. First, the man who he’d fought and  _ beat,  _ by the way, refused to pay and give over his rifle, and second, he’d woken up  _ naked  _ on the floor of a disgusting bathroom with Johnny sitting on the toilet across from him and  _ complaining _ .

“Just like me, isn’t it? Getting trapped in the brain of Night City’s dumbest merc,” Johnny drawled, the first thing V heard after putting on the BD wreath.

V groaned and rolled over, trying to get his arms under himself while his stomach threatened to evacuate. “What… what happened?” he asked, voice weak as he pushed the sound past the nausea.

“Look around and connect the dots,” Johnny deadpanned. 

V blinked past the blur in his eyes as they recalibrated and focused on his surroundings. It didn’t take very long for him to realize where he’d ended up.

“Scavs, shit. Can’t believe I got conned,” he groaned, dragging a limp hand down his face and over his stubble.

“So your brain isn’t completely fried to a crisp.. That’s good,” Johnny snarked, his form flickering slightly as V slowly sat up, shivering against the cold tiles. “Time to wake up because you’re about to be breakfast.”

V was about to stagger to his feet when the door slid open and a man with a totally ‘borged out face walked in. V would’ve sworn the man was Maelstrom if he didn’t already know he was in a scavver nest.

“Hello, little merc. It would seem the effects have worn off faster than anticipated. Doesn’t matter, I’ll still have plenty of fun with you,” he said cheerfully, voice coming out a bit more electronic than what was normal for most humans.

V glanced over at the toilet and was a little disappointed to see Johnny missing. Which then led his thoughts to Kerry. Fuck, the man must be wondering where he was. They’d made plans to watch shitty old films with a projector.  _ Fuck. Nibbles.  _ V would never admit how his stomach lurched at the thought of Nibbles thinking V had abandoned him.

His thoughts were brought back when his wrist was grabbed in an unnervingly cool grip and he was dragged to his feet, pulled along through a few rooms before coming upon one with an empty table. They’d passed one with a corpse on it and V had tried not to shudder.

V suddenly remembered the mantis blades he’d just installed, but when he tried to activate them, nothing happened.  _ Fuck _ . He was at these psycho’s mercy until he figured out a plan to escape. Thinking back to the woman, he only hoped it was before he started losing major organs.

He was quickly strapped to the table, and his body was still too weak from whatever virus was in the BD to do anything but let it happen. Swallowing nervously, he flexed his wrists to gauge how tight his restraints were, and was disappointed to feel them nice and sturdy.

V jumped when he felt a hand trail down his arm, the touch light and unhurried, and this time he couldn’t repress his shudder of disgust.

“I noticed those nice mantis blades as soon as I saw you. You know the metal alloys they put in those things aren’t cheap? I can dig them right out of your arm and make a small fortune by selling the parts to those desperate enough to pay anything I ask.” His grip tightened on V’s arm and his heart sped up dramatically. He didn’t like where this was going. He really shouldn’t have gotten that  _ fucking  _ BD. For once, Johnny was actually right, the fuckin’ bastard.

The man’s hand gently cradled V’s jaw and made him lock eyes with the red circles covering his face like a particularly demented looking spider. “How does cutting off the whole arm instead of potentially damaging those beautiful blades sounds, little merc?” he asked softly, thumb tracing V’s jawline.

Oh V was  _ so  _ gonna tear this man’s head from his shoulders as soon as he was able to.

“I think you can fuck right off,” V snarled, knowing it was useless but felt he had to say something anyway.

He had the audacity to chuckle. “I love when they have a temper. I was so excited when the crew told me they’d managed to pick up a merc. Citizens are always so..  _ Predictable  _ in their fear. But mercs? The bravado is intoxicating to watch even as you struggle to hide your fear. And you? I can already tell you’ll be  _ fun. _ ”

Ah, shit.

The man turned around to rummage through his.. dirty looking supplies and V took a moment to try and formulate a plan, but when the man turned around brandishing a massive bone saw, V’s thoughts stuttered to a stop.

_ Ohshitohshitohshitohshit- _

“I’m feeling generous today for such a fine specimen such as you, so I’ll give you something to numb the pain a little. But not too much, I like to hear the screams, you understand.”

_ Oh well, now he could see where this guy was coming from _ , thought V frantically to try and ignore the surging panic.

“There it is,” the man breathed in awe, leaning over V with the saw and giving V’s arm one more gentle stroke before placing the saw down.

The first back-and-forth V didn’t feel, the adrenaline and modicum of drugs in his system managed to hide the pain for a split second before the agony filtered through and hit him. He didn’t even have the thought to bite back the sharp bark of pain as his legs tried to writhe but couldn’t due to the straps.

“ _ Fuck!”  _ V growled, gritting his teeth so hard he felt something in his jaw pop. The saw was just below his shoulder, just above the precious cyberware the man was trying to preserve, but the saw soon hit bone and V could no longer hold back his screams. At this point, he didn’t care. He just wanted it to  _ stop pleasepleaseplease.  _

His eyes snapped open when he felt something in his mind align again, and he saw Johnny through blurry eyes and  _ knew  _ that he’d managed to find a back door back to his mantis blades.

Just then, he heard a triumphant “Aha!” as the man held up his now detached arm and eagerly walked over to his bench to the side to set it down and examine it. 

“Beautiful, beautiful. This is top market preem shit, oh yes this will sell well,” he muttered to himself, prying open the hidden mechanics and peering at them. 

He stood back up with the bloody saw and walked back over, grinning serenely with the knowledge of the treasure trove he’d just found.

“Time for the other, little merc,” he said, setting the saw just below his shoulder like he’d done with the other one.

Suddenly, there was a thump and an angry shout from another room. The man’s smile dropped and he growled under his breath. “Guess I’d better patch you up a little, then, if our fun is to be postponed. Fucking pieces of shit can’t keep themselves together for more than a minute.”

A few layers of gauze and medical tape later, the man was turning to leave. V saw his chance,, he’d waited until he was sure he wouldn’t bleed out, but now he could do it.

Without any hesitation, V snapped the remaining mantis blade out of his arm and stabbed the man through the spine and out his chest. There was a shocked choke of pain, before his body crumpled to the floor. V bared his teeth in a morbid grin before he hacked off his restraints and sat up, far too quickly apparently, when a wave of dizziness and nausea hit him. He bit his already bloody lip before giving in and throwing up over the side of the table.

Once the retching stopped, and only the lingering taste of acid remained, V slid off the table with boneless legs and wobbled over to the table with his arm. He thought about it for a moment, whether to bring it or just get a synth arm replacement, but it was a little hard to string his thoughts together with the room spinning so drastically. 

“Bring it with you, kid. Be easier on your body than the chance of your system rejecting another arm,” Johnny said quietly from the side. V swallowed and grabbed it, lips curling at the feeling of holding his own fucking arm, before looking around to find his stuff. Thankfully, it was in a locker across the room, but the journey there was almost his undoing, especially with trying to stay silent and not let out little grunts of pain every time his shoulder was jostled.Fortunately, the sounds from the other rooms were sticking to where they were and not getting closer, so V took his time to get all his things. 

Armed with a sword and his clothes back on, albeit with his belt between his teeth to muffle his noise, V began his journey out of the dingy building. 

As he walked through the hallway, ears strained as much as possible, he began to feel… unbalanced, more so than before. He’s gotta get to Vik’s- fast. 

Finally, thank fuck, he managed to make it down and into one of the scavver’s cars out front. He wasn’t quite sure how he’d got there, to be honest, as he kind of blacked out until he came back to himself leaning against the side of a rusty car. He coughed a little and grimaced, and wasn’t really surprised when his vision flickered and turned staticky. Keeling over and hacking up more blood than was really necessary on the ground, he growled and stood back up and yanked the door open, sliding in and ignoring the burning pain in his shoulder. So far, he’d managed to not think about it, but it was getting increasingly difficult with his vision swimming and the fucking relic malfunctioning at the worst possible time.

“C’mon, kid, gotta get to your ripperdoc. You’re losin’ too much blood,” Johnny urged, glitching into the passenger seat and looking at V out the side of his aviators.

V swallowed, giving one more small cough at the acrid taste of blood permeating his senses before wiping at his face with the back of his hand. 

Carefully, he began his drive to Watson, and couldn’t help but be thankful it was the middle of the night. He didn’t really trust himself to not get into a head-on collision in a busy intersection, and he  _ really  _ wasn’t in the mood to flatline just then.

V took a sharp right and when he opened his eyes again, he was at Vik’s. He blinked sluggishly, wondering how in the  _ fuck  _ he got there, but the blue flickering at the edge of his vision was answer enough. V silently promised himself to be a little nicer to Johnny after this.

He didn’t want to admit it, but V did fall out of the car as soon as he opened the door, and forced his body up by using the side of the car. Slowly, slowly, V used the walls for balance as he made his way into Misty’s shop. 

He wasn’t really surprised when Misty didn’t even hesitate before running over and slinging his arm over her shoulders while helping V down to Vik’s. V had to guess she’d gotten a ‘feeling’ or something. Who was he to judge, her ‘feelings’ were reliable and he had a dead rockerboy-turned-terrorist in his head.

With Misty’s help, they made it all the way to the last step before V’s world flipped and his legs gave out under him. He wasn’t lying when he said he just noticed how his entire left side was soaked in blood. The gauze could only help so much, he supposed woozily.

“Vik..!” Misty called, practically dragging V at this point, despite his best efforts.

“Holy fuck, what did you get yourself tangled into now, kid,” Vik muttered, grabbing him with ease and depositing him on the table. V could practically feel Vik’s probing gaze.

“M’arm’s in my bag,” V managed to grit out. It was getting increasingly hard to see past the spots obscuring his vision.

“Christ.. Hold on, give me a sec and I’ll put you under, alright?” Vik said, turning around to grab a syringe. Even though it was Vik, his mind flashed back to the man at the scavver’s nest in the same position, and V’s blood froze.

Rationally, he knew it was Vik, and that this was just the blood loss, but it didn’t stop his heart from beating even faster and pushing even more blood out through the already soaked gauze.

When Vik turned back around, V’s heart stopped entirely for a split second, before Johnny’s voice appeared. “Calm down, V, deep breaths,” Johnny said in V’s ear. V would later wonder at Johnny’s sudden kindness, but as it was he was a little occupied with keeping his body functioning.

He heard Misty walk closer and gently take his remaining hand, and V tried not to squeeze too hard. Before Vik injected the needle, V coughed up some more blood with a grimace and cleared his throat to an uncertain Vik.

“Kerry, in my holo, tell him where I am and let him in. If he brings a cat don’t worry about it. If he doesn’t find out about me he’ll kill me himself,” V instructed weakly, giving a small chuckle at the end. He just realized he hadn’t told Vik and Misty about Kerry yet, his excuse was that he was always busy, but it was really just that he was avoiding them. 

“Sure, kid, lay back down and I’ll have you nice and fixed up for this Kerry, who I  _ really  _ hope isn’t a Kerry Eurodyne.”

V simply smirked slightly as Vik pushed the needle into the crook of his elbow, and V quickly faded off. Finally, no more of that  _ fucking  _ pain.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Kerry pov for our weary travelers. Hope you like the Nibbles content.

Kerry was bored, and V wasn’t there. He’d been promised that the errands after his fight wouldn’t take long, but it was nearing midnight, and did he mention he was  _ bored?  _

An angry meow caught his attention from his brooding and mindless plucking of guitar strings, and he sighed and looked toward Nibbles.

“I know, buddy, I miss him too, but he’ll be home soon, promise,” Kerry soothed, peering across the room at the agitated cat whipping his tail on the floor with an audible  _ thump  _ each time it hit the floor.

He sighed and patted the spot on the couch beside him. “C’mon, I promise I’ll stop making noise on the giant stick, I know it hurts your little ears,” Kerry called, patting the seat again. 

Nibbles’ eyes narrowed, like he was considering sitting there and brooding for V like Kerry was just doing, which he found  _ extremely  _ amusing, but Nibbles seemed to make up his mind. He bounded forward and leaped onto the couch effortlessly, landing near silent.

Kerry couldn’t stop the affection from welling up in his chest and cooed at the cat, “You miss V, don’t you, little man? I’m sure he’ll call soon, yes he will. And then he’ll come home and give your little chin a nice scratch. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, huh?”

He gently picked NIbbles up and set him in his lap and began scratching at his chin, beginning to grin when the cat started purring. It felt like a little motor in his lap, and the warmth emanating from him didn’t help to dissuade him from the comparison.

Glancing at the clock again, Kerry felt the affection in him slowly morph into anxiety. He’d get up to smoke a cigarette, but Nibbles had gotten comfortable and he didn’t want to disrupt him. V  _ should  _ have been home by now, and they both should have been naked and sweaty and sated. So where in the hell  _ was he? _

At some point, the mix of Nibbles’ purring and the exhaustion from his insomnia of the night prior, Kerry managed to drift off. 

He woke up some time later after what felt like not enough time by his holo going off. He blinked tiredly and answered, sitting up and accidentally causing Nibbles to meow in annoyance and jump down.

“H’llo?” Kerry mumbled, getting to his feet and stumbling across the room and fumbling numb fingers over the table before managing to find a cigarette. Once he had one lit and his brain more focused, he noticed just who had called.

“V?” Kerry asked, voice rough but understandable.

“Ah, no, not quite. Is this Kerry Eurodyne?” a man with a growly voice asked, sounding distracted.

Kerry’s heart plummeted. “Is V dead?” he demanded evenly, but his hand shaking as he took another drag gave him away.

The man on the other end of the line sighed before answering. “No, just. Not in great health. Told me to uh. Tell you where he was or you’d kill him. Also warned me you might bring a cat, which I’m almost more curious to know about over you,” the man said, sounding vaguely amused, which made Kerry feel a little better.

“Send me your coords, I’ll be there in a few,” Kerry said shortly, hanging up right after he got an affirmative.

Looking down at his robe, Kerry decided he’d change first. After digging through his clothes and grabbing the first shirt and pair of jeans he saw, he tromped back downstairs and his eyes locked on Nibbles, sitting in the middle of the room and glaring at him. The coords to a place in Watson suddenly popped up in his vision, but it didn’t distract him for too long from Nibbles’ aggravated tail lashing.

Kerry sighed in defeat. “Alright, alright. I’ll get your sweater and leash on and we can go, as long as you promise to be good. Deal?” Kerry asked, refusing to think about the fact that he was bargaining with a cat. He figured it was V’s fault and left it at that.

Five minutes later, he had a mostly behaved cat in a leash and sweater in the passenger side of his car as he drove past the North Oak sign and toward Watson.

The traffic was light, unsurprising as it was nearing four a.m., but he was still happy to get there in record time, and he figured Nibbles did too. He hated car rides.

Kerry gripped the steering wheel tightly and let out a frustrated breath. He’d  _ known  _ V was dying, hard to miss when you wake up and hear him coughing blood up in the sink while an angry cat meowed at V to go back to bed. Kerry just figured they’d, he didn’t know, find a solution or V wouldn’t die before his estimated expiration date.

They weren’t exactly happy thoughts, and each time V came home with another dead end and with darker circles under his eyes, Kerry felt himself want to hold V just that much tighter. He was thankful that V wanted to be held just as tightly.

He knew it was selfish, thinking about himself while V was dying, but Kerry never claimed to not be selfish. Sometimes, in his darkest moments when V was curled against his chest, breathing raggedly through the pain of his last Johnny-induced migraine, he wondered what would have happened if he’d ended things on that dock beside the yacht. But Kerry knew it wouldn’t have changed anything, just make him regret more things. By then, he’d already been gone on V, he just didn’t quite know what he had to look forward to, now he did, and  _ fuck  _ he wouldn’t trade that for the world.

Those thoughts would go in circles, and when they inevitably circled back to him being desperately and irrevocably in love with this  _ stupid  _ merc tucked against him, he’d just swallow and gently kiss the top of V’s head. V would always make this soft little sound and grip Kerry’s shirt tighter while getting as close as possible. Kerry would usually hum something low and soothing, unless the migraine was particularly bad, then they’d just sit in silence. He used to be mad at Johnny, for hurting V so much, but V had convinced him it wasn’t Johnny’s fault, that he was a victim in this too, and Kerry just grumbled, but did stop making lashing remarks so often after that.

A claw flexing into his thigh quickly grabbed Kerry’s attention, and he snapped his gaze down to Nibbles, who was looking up at him innocently, as if he hadn’t just tried to eviscerate Kerry’s leg.

Kerry took a deep breath, gathering his courage to go inside while preparing himself for the worst, and popped open the door. He crouched down and beckoned for Nibbles to come over so he could pick him up.

“C’mon you little demon, time to see your favorite,” Kerry called, tapping the leather to coax the cat forward. He smiled slightly when Nibbles crawled forward and allowed himself to be scooped up with nothing more than an annoyed little grumble, which Kerry found intolerably cute as hell.

  
  


Kerry took another deep breath, before walking into the shop the coords led him into. 

The first person he saw was a frazzled looking woman behind the counter, but when he walked in, her eyes brightened and she stood up straighter. “So our V  _ is  _ dating a rockstar. Here, I’ll take you down to see him, but as far as I know, he’s still asleep,” she said waving for Kerry to follow her.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what are your’s and the uh, other guy’s names?”

“Oh! My bad, sorry. My name is Misty, and the perpetually angry ripperdoc down here is Viktor. Don’t let him scare you, he just doesn’t know how to be nice,” she said, smiling at Kerry, who hesitantly returned it.

“I heard that, you know,” Viktor called dryly as the two of them opened the door and walked into the fairly large room.

“I know,” Misty replied, smiling even more at Viktor’s unimpressed look.

Kerry cleared his throat awkwardly, and his eyes quickly darted around, looking for V. He felt Nibbles start getting restless and since he figured Viktor was already warned, he’d just go for it and set him down.

“Not to.. Interrupt whatever is going on here, but I would like to know where V is and why he’s here,” Kerry interrupted, Viktor’s gaze sliding over to him slowly. Kerry got an unimpressed look, and if Kerry didn’t have to live through Johnny’s old glares, he’d probably be more intimidated. As it was, he just stared back evenly.

Finally, Viktor relaxed and answered. “Not sure what happened, wasn’t in much of a state to tell me anything other than call you, and that his arm was in his bag.”

Kerry’s eyes widened and he very quickly noticed the blood littering multiple surfaces.

“Oh,” he said dumbly.

“So I reattached it, and he’ll probably wake up some time in the morning. I’ll give him some more pain meds, but we can try and squeeze what happened out of him,” Vik explained, walking over to his chair and falling into it with an exhausted sigh. Kerry glanced to the side and caught Misty petting a very pleased Nibbles.

“So, where is he..?”

  
Viktor dragged his head back up from where he had it hanging over the back of his chair, and jerked his head in the direction of a door at the back of the room. “In there, figured he’d be better off in a private area. S’where I sleep when I’m too tired to get back home.”

Kerry nodded and muttered a quick thanks before scooping Nibbles back up, who gave an indignant squawk. “Oh, stop that. You’re about to be real pleased with me, just watch,” Kerry scolded, opening the door and slipping into the dim room.

The first thing he noticed about V, was how pale he was. He wasn’t the most tan man before, not like Kerry was, but now it was just… garish. There was an I.V. in his arm, very clearly giving him blood, which explained the paleness, and then his eyes wandered over to the stitches standing out quite clearly on V’s upper left arm. Kerry couldn’t help but swallow back nausea.

He glanced around, looking for a chair, and the room wasn’t very big so he found one in the corner and dragged it over one-handed, with a disgruntled Nibbles trying to escape to get to V. “Hold on you little monster, I’ll set you on him in a minute,” Kerry growled. “Can’t believe a cat gets to spend more quality time with my partner than me, how upsetting,” he finished, sitting down and dangling Nibbles in front of him by the armpits. He got an angry  _ mrow,  _ which he chuckled to, and gently set Nibbles beside V on the thin bed. 

“Be careful, he’s a little fragile right now,” Kerry cautioned, rubbing a hand down Nibbles’ sweatered back gently.

NIbbles, unhindered, gave a long stretch, before wedging himself right against V’s side and curling into the tightest ball possible. A moment later, Kerry heard loud purring. 

“Can’t believe I’m second best to a cat,” Kerry muttered, settling back into the chair with a sigh and stretched his long legs out in front of him. He checked the time and sighed even louder. It was gonna be a while before V woke up. Well, always time for a nap.

He closed his eyes to prepare for a nap, but even with his exhaustion, he couldn’t seem to drift off. He shifted, trying to get more comfortable, but even that didn’t work. His mind kept gravitating toward V, what would have happened if V hadn’t told Viktor to call him. How long it would have taken Kerry to find out. If V hadn’t survived at all. 

Shuddering slightly, Kerry tried to distract himself by humming his rendition of  _ Chippin’ in,  _ while thinking about how long he was going to force V to stay in bed and recover while watching old movies. He guessed he’d get a week out of him, at max, before he went stir crazy and flew the coop without warning. His time was limited, to be fair, but dammit if Kerry wanted to keep V as close as possible for as long as he could.

And there he went down that train of thought again. He gnawed on his lip for a while, before finally he let out a deep breath and tried to sleep again. It didn’t take long for the lack of sleep and the adrenaline fading to allow him to fall asleep in a matter of minutes. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter will be up tomorrow night, so look forward to that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The last chapter. I hope you enjoy it, this was p fun to work on <3

When V woke up, it was to the feeling of being almost entirely numb, save his hand, which was warm, as well as his side, which had something vibrating and warm pressed against it. He forced his eyes open and blinked slowly as his optics recentered themselves and focused on the dim room. It took a moment, but he saw that Nibbles had found himself pressed against V’s side, and he couldn’t help but smile slightly. The blue sweater felt soft when he ran his hand over it carefully. Nibbles only purred louder in happiness.

It was only then he realised that he had feeling in two arms, and when he’d fallen asleep it’d only been in one. He finally turned to his left and was a little shocked to see Kerry, head tilted back and drool on his cheek. V tried moving his fingers, but he only got a slight twitch from them and frowned. He was a little relieved he could at least feel Kerry’s warm grip, but he couldn’t help but wonder how long it would take before his hand would be functioning well enough again. He didn’t have unlimited time, and the time he  _ did  _ have left needed to be spent trying to give him even more.

Swallowing, and then subsequently grimacing at his dry and sore throat, he coughed a little, which made Kerry stir. V froze, hoping Kerry would just go back to sleep before waking up completely, he figured the poor man had been up for far too long worrying, but alas, Kerry’s eyes opened and immediately fixed on V’s stiff form. 

Kerry blinked, as if registering V, before he sat up so fast his back cracked. V was silently grateful Kerry didn’t remove his hand. 

“Thank  _ fuck,”  _ Kerry breathed, bringing up his free hand and holding V’s stubbled cheek tightly and leaned in close. V shied away and felt awful at Kerry’s slightly hurt look.

“I uh, haven’t brushed my teeth in several days,” V cautioned, glancing at a still happily rumbling Nibbles.

Kerry rolled his eyes and snorted. “Mine aren’t much better. Snoring doesn’t do good things for your breath,” he said, smacking his lips as he tried to clear the nasty taste.

V huffed a laugh and shifted his shoulders back into the pillow, gritting his teeth at the slight jutter of pain that zinged up his arm at the movement. 

Kerry frowned and swiped his thumb along V’s cheekbone gently, and V couldn’t help but lean into it with a soft sigh of quiet pleasure. It was-  _ nice _ \- to feel something other than anxiety and mind numbing pain for the first time in what felt like days, so this time when Kerry leaned in for a kiss, he met him halfway, neck straining a little.

It’d barely been a day, but  _ fuck  _ did V miss kissing Kerry. It was like the man knew just how to get everything off V’s mind was just a gentle brush of lips. Hell, V wouldn’t be surprised at this point; they’d been together long enough for some of their habits to seep into the other and be noticed, in a sort of peripheral way, like how you walk inside while it’s sunny and an hour later you go back out and it’s cloudy and humid. 

“What time is it, and can I get some water?” V asked quietly when Kerry finally pulled away, thumb still stroking his cheekbone.

Kerry’s eyes unfocused before he said, “Nine thirteen a.m. And uh, sure. Think you can stay awake long enough to tell us what happened? Viktor is curious to know, and honestly, I am too,” Kerry asked, walking around the small room and looking for a bottle of water. V missed the warmth in his numb hand immediately. At least he had Nibbles, whom he made sure to reach down and pet some more. He deserved all the love after the stress of the past day.

V winced a little, not too excited to talk about how he’d been duped so magnificently, but he figured he owed them an explanation, so he gave a defeated nod.

Kerry gave a knowing grin, and V already knew the man was going to relish in his embarrassment, now that he knew V was safe, of course.

Kerry gave him one last lingering look, before turning and leaving, which left him with Nibbles for a little while. 

As if sensing the direction of V’s thoughts, Nibbles stood up and gave a long, languid stretch before meandering over to V and climbing onto his chest, forcing all the air out of V’s lungs. “Hey, little man,” he wheezed, reaching forward and scratching at Nibbles’ smooth chin gently. 

He got a pleased little  _ brr  _ as well as a head bump against his hand, and he smiled. Careful of the I.V., V continued to happily pet Nibbles while keeping up a stream of commentary.

“I bet you were worried about me, huh? I just know we’re gonna go home, and all Kerry’s gonna talk about is how you wouldn’t stop bugging him because I wasn’t home. That sound about right to you?” he cooed, straining his neck a little to lean forward and kiss Nibbles’ head. The loud purr that rumbled out of him right after made V snort.

Before he could talk to Nibbles some more, he heard footsteps and his smile turned to a grimace. Great. 

As predicted, Viktor entered first with an unimpressed look, then Misty with a worried frown, and last of all Kerry, who just seemed happy to see V awake.

By then, Nibbles had settled down comfortably on V’s chest, and the purring was making his lungs vibrate. 

Kerry took his previous spot and wordlessly took V’s hand, to his immense relief. The touch was- grounding.

Misty stood in front of him and gave him a slight smile, whereas Viktor just crossed his arms and widened his stance, which made V swallow nervously.

“Now that you’re back in the land of the living, explain. I’m owed an explanation after saving your gonk ass,  _ again,”  _ Vik demanded, his tone unrelenting and V knew he wouldn’t win this one. To be completely honest; he knew he wouldn’t win from the start. It was Vik.

“Er, well…” he started, shifting uncomfortably under their gaze. Of course, it was then Johnny flickered into existence at the corner of the room, smug smirk on his face. V knew it was because the man got off on V’s embarrassment.

“Yeah, V. Tell ‘em,” Johnny urged, amusement thick and obvious in his tone.

V scowled at him, uncaring that the others in the room could clearly see it. They knew who he was looking at. 

Finally, V’s shoulders slumped and he absentmindedly pet Nibbles while trying to figure out what to say.

“Alright, so I had a fight scheduled for today, which ran long because I beat him and he was a sore loser. Afterwards, I was roaming around the city, trying to find something to eat I guess, when I heard this guy advertising this BD. Long story short, it had a virus in it, and when I woke up, I was naked on the floor of a bathroom in a scavvers nest.” He paused and looked up, suddenly realizing how much he’d been petting Nibbles without realizing. Since the cat was clearly pleased, V decided to keep going. He also saw Kerry’s unhappy face, which as he looked at Misty and Vik, saw that it was mirrored on them as well.

“And uh, this guy comes in and straps me to a table. Some software of theirs or something kept me from using my ‘blades, so I just.. had to let it happen. Between my arm… getting sawn off and the guy getting distracted, Johnny managed to find a backdoor past the virus and reactivated my ‘blades. After that it was sort of a blur, y’know? I know I escaped, but I can’t really remember how. Just that I got here and apparently told you to call Kerry,” he finished, giving Kerry a sidelong glance. Christ, he was ready to go home and just curl against him on the couch with Nibbles and watch anything. 

“Fuck, kid. You really did yourself in this time,” Vik said with a snort, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Oh, V. No wonder your energy is so… off balance. It does look like it’s getting back to normal, though,” Misty said. V silently sweared to give her a tight hug before he left. 

“And what do you have to say, Ker?”

“What I want to say and do, I don’t think our company here would like very much,” said Kerry placidly. Fuck. V was in it now. He sent a pleading glance toward Misty, who just gave him an unsympathetic smile. Damn.

“Before I get the ass beating of a century, is there any way to predict when I’ll get function back in my arm, and even better, when I can leave. On bed rest of course,” he hastily added after seeing Vik’s sour look.

“Damn right you will be,” Kerry muttered. V noted that his hand was still being warmly held, and figured that Kerry was more worried than angry, which he should have expected.

Vik sighed. “I did as best a job as I could. You  _ should  _ get full or near full functionality back, and my best guess is that it’ll take about a month before the arm is fully healed. No real idea on the nerve damage yet. Can you feel anything in that hand?” Vik asked, nodding his head in the direction of V’s taken hand.

“I can.. feel the warmth of Kerry’s hand, and I can twitch my fingers a little. I think that’s it, though,” V admitted, shrugging slightly.

Vik scrubbed his hand over his beard scruff and gave another world weary sigh. “I’ll send you some details for physical therapy, and if you keep up with it, your hand  _ should  _ get better. But that’s not a certainty,” Vik warned.

V perked up, mind latching onto something else. “Wait, does that mean I can go home?” he asked eagerly, and even Kerry looked a little wanting.

Vik rolled his eyes and nodded. “As long as you’re  _ careful  _ and send me updates every few days, as well as tell me if something comes up. If you start suspecting there’s an infection, or the stitches tear or  _ whatever, tell me.  _ Got it?”

V nodded quickly, slightly dizzy from the jerky movement.

“I’m sending you off with some painkillers as well as an antibiotic which should keep your body from rejecting your arm. I’ll give ‘em to you on your way out,” Vik said and then turned and left. 

Misty walked over and leaned down to kiss V’s cheek, and V smelled sage on her. She patted his cheek gently before walking out as well.

Steeling himself, V slowly turned to look at Kerry. 

The only warning he got was a quiet growl before Kerry was kissing him breathless, nothing like the soft one from before. Kerry pulled away as soon as V started to get his bearings and sharply bit V’s lip and pulled away again, but not very far. 

“Don’t ever do this to me again,” he growled, running his hand through V’s hair roughly.

V swallowed and felt like  _ shit  _ knowing he’d have to say it, but he didn’t want to give Kerry empty promises. “Ker, I can’t promise that,” he said softly, voice pained. 

Kerry continued to stare at him for a moment, before he turned away and ran his hand through his own hair.

“You know I’m trying to find a way to fix me an’ Johnny, but until I do, my days are numbered. I’ve been as careful as I can be, put accidents happen,” V said, voice low.

Kerry exhaled loudly, and from the way his hands shook a little, he was really wanting a smoke. 

“I know, but can’t a man worry?” he asked with a shaky smile. 

They sat in silence for a moment before V spoke up. “If you can wrangle Nibbles off of me and help me up, you can go out and wait for me with a smoke, I can tell you want one, and I just  _ really  _ want to be home in our bed.”

Kerry’s face softened and he closed the small gap to deliver another soft kiss. “Fine, but you’re not getting up until tomorrow once we get home,” he murmured, kissing V’s temple. Once he was done administering V’s face with kisses, he gently scooped up a befuddled Nibbles and set him on the floor, where he quickly slunk off into the main room, where Viktor and Misty undoubtedly were.

“You ready?” Kerry asked hesitantly, holding onto V’s good arm tightly. V gritted his teeth and nodded.

“Alright. On the count of three, okay?” 

V nodded.

“One.. Two.. Three!” and with a hard pull he dragged V off the table, who landed on wobbly, but stable legs. He let out a breathless laugh and grabbed onto Kerry’s shoulder with his good arm to steady himself. 

“If Vik just saw that’ he’d take my arm right back off,” he mused, looking down at the limb. “I should probably ask if it’d be alright to put it in a sling, I don’t like the feeling of a numb weight hanging off me.”

Kerry shrugged. “He probably’ll say yes. Now, you think you can make the walk up?”

V took a few cautious steps, and decided that as long as he took it slow he thought he’d be okay.

“Yup.”

Kerry gave him a wary look, but just turned and left, and a moment later V heard the angry yowl of Nibbles being picked up.

  
  
  


Ten minutes later with a sling, medication, and dinner plans forced on him for next week, V finally made it to the car, where he saw several fresh cigarette butts littering the sidewalk in front of Kerry.

Walking up, he raised an inquisitive eyebrow, to which Kerry simply responded by taking another drag. 

“C’mon, Nibbles wants to leave,” Kerry said a moment later, dropping the stub and stepping on it.

“Just Nibbles?”

He got an ugly glare. “Get in the fuckin’ car.”

V grinned. “Yes sir.”

  
  
  


A week later saw them both lounging in the living room, Nibbles sitting comfortably in V’s lap with a soft yellow sweater, with Kerry tucked against V’s side. V’s arm was still in the sling, but he’d noticed he was getting a bit more mobility and feeling back, but nowhere near where it was yet.

The screen was playing some old soap opera from back when Kerry was younger, and they both just kept making fun of it. It’d somehow become their favorite hobby.

Earlier, V had been thinking about how it’d been a relatively minor week for relic malfunctions, and of course he’d jinxed himself. Because now, V’s vision was flickering and his stomach roiled, all of it happening in just seconds. 

He quickly dislodged Nibbles, ignoring her angry mrow and Kerry’s worried look and stumbled to the bathroom. He fell to his knees so hard they cracked against the tile, but by then he was too busy heaving bloody globs into the toilet.

His world was tinged a grainy blue and his whole body was shaking, like he’d just come down from a very, very good high. 

He coughed, more red staining the porcelain before he dropped his head to the seat, uncaring of how sanitary was. The fuckin’ city was dirty enough to build up a spectacular immune system.

A moment later and Kerry walked in, sitting beside him and putting his arm around his shoulders. Somehow, the touch triggered something in V’s stomach and it set him off again, hacking up what looked like a fairly gorey crime scene into Kerry’s poor toilet.

“Fuck,” he gasped, breathing raggedly once he guessed he was done.

“You think it’s done?” Kerry asked softly, rubbing soothing circles into V’s back. 

V swallowed, gagging a little just at the overwhelming taste of iron, but decided he could risk getting up. There was a trash can in their room for a reason.

With Kerry’s support, V managed to brush his teeth and be led to the bed, where he fell into an achy heap. Already, his usual migraine was starting up. 

Kerry stood hesitantly in the doorway, looking uncertain. “Should I..”

“C’mere, you gonk,” V growled, turning away and nestling into the blankets and pillow with a sigh.

The bed dipped, and soon there was an arm around his waist. V quickly squirmed down until he was able to curl against Kerry with his head against the man’s broad chest.

“I hate seein’ you like this,” Kerry murmured, voice pained. 

V couldn’t stop a slight sniffle, the pulsing behind his eyes and in his temples making him a bit more emotional. “S’not much of a cakewalk for me either, Ker.”

Kerry ran a hand soothingly through V’s hair, who sighed in pleasure and leaned into it like a cat.

Funnily enough, not a second later he felt the bed dip again and a warm weight settle against his back before the loud purring started.

“Dunno what I’d do without you,” V mumbled. He genuinely dreaded the thought of having no one to hold him through these. At first, when he’d been mostly alone, (Johnny was always there) and the malfunctions weren’t that bad, they still made him feel awful and out of shape, like someone had fucked with his software.

“Dunno what you’d do without me either, kid,” Kerry mused, pressing a soft kiss to V’s temple, lingering there for a moment.

“Get some rest. The show’ll be there in the morning,” Kerry rumbled, his voice soothing. 

V hummed and curled closer. “Love you,” he muttered, voice muffled by Kerry’s shirt, which V was a little surprised Kerry hadn’t shucked off.

Kerry snorted at something in his own head and his hand made another pass through V’s hair.

“Love ya too, you gonk,” he said fondly.

Well, things could always be worse, but thinking about his likely doom, V hoped things could get better as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all she wrote! Or is it? Who knows! Might write a sequel dealing with the endings, might not! Currently planning a completely Kerry pov fic that is ALSO super angst so >:)  
> Anyway, I started playing Black Ops 1, so time to get back to that.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this! I worked p hard on it. And bc I hate canon, I'm considering writing a shorter second part dealing with one of the endings, just an angsty get better fluff/angst fic, but idk I haven't quite decided if I want to dedicate myself yet.  
> I'm so sorry to the people who read my Panam/V fic, once I found out about Kerry I was gone on him. I am so sorry Panam.  
> Anyway, see you guys later, I gotta let my dog out for bed.


End file.
